Thursday, August 22, 2013
Reflective Essay
I joined Guzheng ensemble when i was in Year 1 of Junior College. I chose this CCA because i wanted to try something new and different. After a journey of two years in Guzheng ensemble, what i have learnt is much greater than what i have expected. It was all about team work and numerous practices that leads to a good performance. I was not a very good player in Guzheng due to my lack of music background. Yet, i did not attend every session of my CCA. JC workload was too much for me and i spent my time on studying instead of going CCA when i was supposed to go. Even when performance was around the corner, i still did not go for practices every week. It turned out that sometimes i have to "fake play" in the performance. Though the overall performance was still excellent, i did not sense the joy as much as the rest did. Only after i finished my Alevel, i then realized how much CCA has actually benefited me. From then onward, i try my best in everything i do and leave no regret. I understand that everything we do will benefit us in a certain way, and most of the time we are unable to see the benefit. If i spend more time and efforts in the CCA, i believe that i could have gained much more.
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You focused well on what your have learnt in Guzheng ensemble, because of your lack of music ground and too much workload, you didn't go for practices very often, which made you not a very good player, but it still benefit u a lot, you expressed your idea clearly and i can fully understand what you were trying to say, anyway, it's a good reflective essay.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your reflections, I have gained more understanding in your CCA experience. You have clearly expressed about your feelings for your CCA, and your regrets for not participating actively when you were in it. Probably, you can add more details on how this experience has helped you in your learning journey.
ReplyDeleteHi Chun Jia,this is an interesting reflection.Something I can truly relate to as former member of an instrumental group myself. :)
ReplyDeleteOk comments from a linguistic point of view for the purpose of this module.
1)I noticed that all your 'i' pronouns within any given sentence are not capitalized. eg I joined Guzheng ensemble when i was in Year 1 of Junior College.
Maybe we are so used to informal writing such as typing sms or dropping comments in fb or twitter we sometimes forget to adjust accordingly.(I am guilty too!)
2)I think that some sentences can be restructured to help convey the your intended message more clearly and perhaps you may also look at how you can inject some of your feelings into your writing as well.
I will try to attempt to restructure your first two sentences.(Just a suggestion)
Actual text
I joined Guzheng ensemble when i was in Year 1 of Junior College. I chose this CCA because i wanted to try something new and different.
Suggested Text
The decision to enroll myself in Guzheng Ensemble in Year 1 of XXX Junior College was driven by my curiosity of wanting to try something new and different.
I hope it may be of benefit to you. :)
Chun Jia,
ReplyDeleteOrganisation and content: This is a reasonably well-structured piece of writing. This is a very coherent piece of writing. You described your learning experience well, and expressed your feelings towards the ensemble. Perhaps it would have been better if you could be more specific by giving one example on how the ensemble benefited you.
Language:
1. Do you know why you need to use ‘the’ here and throughout the passage?
E.g. I joined Guzheng ensemble
2. Incorrect use of tenses. Can you spot the errors?
i. what i have learnt is much greater than what i have expected.
ii. It was all about team work and numerous practices that leads to a good performance
3. Incorrect use of connector. Can you see why?
I was not a very good player in Guzheng due to my lack of music background. Yet, i did not attend every session of my CCA.
Blogging buddies: Valid comments on the content and organisation. Very good suggestions on the language aspect too. Good job.
ReplyDelete